Becoming HIS Tapestry

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COMPARISON CAN BE GOOD

Hey friends, how are you doing? How was your weekend? Did you enjoy a worshipful experience with the Lord, while at church? We have no family here, where we live, so family has become our church folks, which is great.  Unlike our blood family at times, we do speak the same language, we move in the same direction, we have a lot in common, because we serve the same God.  Do you go to church? 

Now we’ve all heard that ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ ( Theodore Roosevelt), which is usually true. Comparison is rarely a good look and it does not sound good either.  When I was a little girl, my mom would sometimes compare me to my sisters, especially when I misbehaved (I should preface this by saying, I was rebellious in my pre-teen years). But I must admit whenever I was compared to someone else, it most certainly did not help the attitude.  As a matter of fact, I dug in my heels even more, because of it (sorry mom).  But a word to wise here, don’t compare your kids to each other.  The Lord makes each child unique and special and He most certainly does not clone His children.  Even with the same parents, no two precious babes are the same and that was done on purpose.  That was free.

But comparison does serve a purpose when it’s done right.  For example, here is a photograph I took around the same time last year.  

January 2018

The next is this year; when I compare the two, I am very thankful for this year and its current temperatures.  

Barely a trace, this time around

A few years ago, I prayed to the Lord and reminded Him that He called us to homeschool.  But now, it’s almost time for college and we didn’t know what to do.  Here we are four years later and both girls are at college, tuition free.  

Sometimes comparison is good, it allows us to see the progress or sometimes the digress of our lives.  When I compare my life at the beginning of 2019 to the present, I am thankful for work the Lord has done in my life. Over the Christmas break, I reminded our younger daughter that we have been called to do ‘brave’ things in 2020.  Honestly, this was a light bulb moment for me, more so than probably for her.  Our first born takes life by the horns and runs with it.  Her first words were, “I can do it”.  Fear, seemingly, rarely makes an appearance in her life. She is always willing to try new things.  The second on the other hand, needs to ensure that every t is crossed and every i is dotted.  She wants guaranteed success, before she attempts new things.  

After talking with her, I realized she really didn’t take it far.  She is just like me.  Here, I talked about my bravery in the post, ‘Are you brave, enough?‘.  I don’t like change, unless precipitated by me, of course.  I like to ‘know’.  I don’t like surprises.  I am rarely spontaneous, just the thought makes me anxious.  There have been so many things the Lord has called me to, that I’ve haven’t done, because I’m afraid.  I’m afraid I won’t be as good as….  I won’t be as successful as…. The first time I was called to teach our Ladies class at church, I picked up the phone several times to cancel.  My stomach was in knots, I thought I was sick.  I think I realized then, that I could say ‘no’ to this, or I could give the fear to the Lord and trust Him to perform the work He started in me.  Here, I also talked about accepting the tasks, we’ve been given, in the post, Bloom, where you’re planted.

As I compare the present me to the me, just a few years ago, I am thankful that I’m not as fearful as I used to be. I am thankful for the progressive work the Lord has fashioned for me.  Whenever new and uncertain moments enter my life, though my initial response maybe to hide under the bed and stay there, I have learnt to trust in the presence of my Lord.  This situation may be unexpected to me, but never to Him.  He knew it was coming, as a matter of fact, He allowed it to come.  He is prepared, I can trust Him. I realized that I don’t always have to BE brave to DO brave things.  My God can handle that fear, when I give it to Him.   

Are you ready to do brave things, this year? As you compare last year’s self to this year’s, what changes do you notice? Is there an area in your life that has taken years to make any progress?

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40 responses to “COMPARISON CAN BE GOOD”

  1. I was JUST thinking today, how mild this winter has been, compared to last winter. I am VERY grateful; although I am still looking for a winter home in FL. I realized this past summer that I was fearful about my kids in the water. I hovered over them like a mother hen. Then one day while at the beach, my husband threw each kid off of the pier into the water. They all enjoyed it and had them throw them in again and again…even the baby. I realized that my own fear was hindering my children. I still watch them, but not like before. It’s okay if they’re not right next to me. Thank God for deliverance!

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  2. 😀 I’m glad you’re having a mild winter! As for comparing kids, just imagine having six of them! It’s very tempting. But you are right that everyone hates that. I try to see them as individuals, but nobody’s perfect! I had to laugh at what you said about your daughter being like you. We always hate that when they pick up the parts of us that we aren’t happy with. But I have to say that you come across so confident in your writing style. I would never guess that you had any fears at all! Goes to show that you are a great writer. Blessings! 🙂

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    • 😂😂 that’s the beauty of the typewriter 💻 It’s not in front of people (thank the Lord). It takes intentionality to avoid comparing our kids, it helps when they displays our bad habits 😂😂 God’s way if ensuring we do not continue that path. Do look and act too much like us

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  3. Now that’s how you do comparison in a healthy manner! 🙂 I’m SO happy with the temperatures this winter. We have, so far, only had a couple of days that were in the negatives, as opposed to a week or two plus, so I am thrilled to compare this year to last, lol. I’m definitely a hide under the covers and wait for the scary moment to pass type of person, but I’m working on stepping out in more faith this year. I’m working hard on some projects this year and I refuse to give up. I usually give up by now or the next month, but despite the MANY obstacles I have already faced, I’m not giving up this year. I am trusting that God wants me to do this and if not, then I will know! But He has already answered so many prayers that I have faith I’m heading in the right direction (after all, if I wasn’t meant to do this, it would be easy, right?). Hurray for tuition free college! That is SUCH a blessing. My dad was a college professor so I lucked out in that department for sure. Went through college tuition free as well and it has made a huge difference in how we have been able to live and follow God’s calling. Thank God for no school debt. Your girls will be so grateful for that when they are through. Children are such individuals and I learn more and more about myself as I watch them grow. God Bless you and your family!

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  6. I used to hate it when anyone would say, “Tina, you never change.” One, because that’s not true! I’m changing all the time. They meant it outwardly, but it still bugged me. (With my bee pic….I can’t not smile at the word bugged. Sorry, I took a detour.)

    Change can definitely be hard, but when you love God you’re almost eager to change. You don’t want people to say that you haven’t changed, right? You want people to say, “My, how you’ve grown! We can definitely say it to ourselves if we have to, but it’s also really nice when the people who know us best point it out. My mother-in-law is very much this way. 😊 She is so good at that positive reinforcement. I enjoyed your blog post, Brenda. My, how you’ve grown! 😃 Actually, this is very true. Your blog is always evolving and so is your writing. ❤

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    • 🙂 🙂 thank you, Tina. To our great God be all the glory. Indeed it is always good, when others say, we are changing and growing and maturing; that’s the best testimony. But it is also healthy when we can identify the changes for ourselves. It’s like losing weight, when it is significant, people notice, but the slow progress sometimes only we can tell, by the way our clothes fit etc. 🙂 🙂 God bless you, my friend

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  9. I love our church!
    In fact, I think that is where God is calling me to step out and start a ladies ministry. Gulp. I think I’ll do a lot of stepping aside (in my flesh) and let Him do all the thinking and planning.

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  10. Great post. Whenever I begin to compare myself with someone else, pride kicks in and I think I’m doing okay! Then, I remember the One who sets the bar, raises the standard, and who is my Redeemer. When I compare myself to Him, I have the right perspective — He must increase and I must decrease.

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  11. Yes, it’s always good to be thankful for what we have and to remember all the way that the Lord has led us. It’s not good to dwell on the past, but it is good to see what the Lord has done in our lives. Thank you for the very nice reminder! And that is SO awesome about your daughters! Congratulations to them and to you.

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  12. Very true, there are times comparisons can be good. It allows us to look back at how far we have come. Where are your other family members located? That’s a blessing your girls go to school tuition free. 🙌🏿

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  15. I love your posts, Brenda, especially when you say that you successfully homeschooled your girls and that they got into college tuition free. I pray that my grandson in PA will have that same success. My daughter has homeschooled him since he was five years old and now he is a junior. He is going to a Christian school this year so that he can take dual enrollment classes there. Can you share any hints about getting into college as a homeschooled student and getting scholarships?

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    • Hi Vickie, Praise the Lord for others like your daughter 🙂 The dual program is a great way to get into college; take advantage of the scholarships they offer. Even though it may ask for regular class information or even stipulations, I found out that most colleges are partial to homeschoolers, because of their independence when it comes to their learning 🙂 :). Homeschooling our girls was one of the best decisions, we’ve ever made for our family. Let me know if that helps. God bless you

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