TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE…

Hey friends, how are you today? How was your weekend? How was mine, you ask? I’m not sure where to start! It was very busy and very complicated.  Feelings were involved and I had to remind my loved one that no one promised us a pain free life.  We were never promised a life without trials and tribulations. As a matter of fact, we were told that pain and hurt are inevitable in this life.  Pain is difficult to accept when we feel it can’t be justified.  When we know we don’t deserve the pain inflicted by others, forgiveness can be difficult.   

We also have a case of COVID-19 in our house and that has been a bit restrictive.  But before all that, the girls and I visited the farmers market with family and also did some mall shopping which I thank the Lord for because we went into lockdown soon after.   

That’s my weekend, how was yours?   In the book of Esther, I love reading about the women of the Bible.    Anyway… I got to Haman’s hatred toward Mordecai in chapters 5 and 6.  I mean he absolutely hated Mordecai.  He was so filled with hatred that he built ‘gallows’ so that he can have him hanged…  Did you know that during the Persian reign, ‘hanging’ was a kind of impalement on a stake, that was usually left around for the public’s viewing (something, I’m sure, they were not thankful for) so that others would be discouraged from committing the same or a similar offense. Can you imagine hating someone to that extent? In Haman’s defense, he didn’t know the Lord, therefore that’s not surprising. 

Yet there are some of us, Christians, who will withhold forgiveness and grace and mercy from others because well… they don’t deserve it.  They’ve not groveled enough; we’ve determined they are not repentant enough.  Do we not understand that with love; patience and grace, mercy and forgiveness must exist? We can’t love others, if we allow anger and bitterness or even sanctimonious self righteousness to control our actions. We know it’s self-righteousness because we use every justification to avoid forgiving that person.  The truth is people will hurt us and there are times, these people will be of the household of faith.  There are times, I will say something without thought and there are times when I will be intentional in my actions and you may be hurt, justifiably so, BUT I’m sorry to say, it is against the Word of God to withhold forgiveness from me.  

He does say, in Proverbs 15:1, ‘a soft answer turns away wrath’.  We run to our Lord, we tell Him how we feel, we ask Him to forgive us for harboring these emotions and to replace it with the characteristics that best exemplify Him.  And He does just that! 

As Christians, the Lord has placed us in His family. He has given us sisters and brothers all over the world, in all walks of life. Some come with a past, that will take some time for the Lord to chisel out and others are still babies in their walk.   Some do not look like us, some don’t talk like us, some do not have the same social status, but still, we are a family. In order to live harmoniously in this family, the Lord has given us the same standards across the board. No one is exempted.  No one is entitled in spite of the fact that we may have walked with Him far longer than this other person.  The Lord continues to extend much grace and mercy to us, leaving us without excuse when it’s our turn.  

When the girls were younger and constantly bickered with each other, I remember sharing a saying with them that my mom told us, when we were kids ourselves.  If we can’t get along with our siblings, we really can’t get along with anyone else.  If we can’t treat our siblings with the care and compassion with which we’ve been taught and tasked, then the world truly is lost.  We are a family, let’s treat each other with respect and gentleness, regardless of where they are spiritually.  Believe it or not, no one is perfect, we are all subject to falling short of the glory of God.  We all need to remember BUT GOD… Sin is against God, not against man.  He forgives sin and takes it as far east is from the west.  He sent His Son to take our sins and pay the price and stand in our place for something He never did.  Yet He gently draws us back to Himself when we fall short.  Do we think we are better than God? That we have the right to verbally beat other sisters and brothers until we draw blood? All in the name of God?  Which god do we represent? Certainly not the God who freely forgave our sins and continue to do so still today.  

There is a very unique verse in the Bible; James 2:10 to Him that knows… God called me to teach, He didn’t call everyone.  He tasked us with kids, He didn’t call every family.  He called us to homeschool, He didn’t call everyone.  He called us to serve in our local church, not with the same calling of everyone.  He’s called me to work with both kids and ladies, these are specific to me, not everyone. I don’t have the right to place everyone in my box and say that’s the Lord’s will.  That’s His will for my life, it may not even be His will for my kids. One thing that never changes: love everyone. Love shows itself in our actions.  

Let’s choose to be kind to each other.  Let’s choose to encourage and build up each other.  Let’s choose to take our hurt and our pain that others have perhaps done against us to the feet of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Let’s tell Him of our pain.  Surely this Just God is able do battle for us.  Let’s choose to stand in the gap for others.  Let’s choose prayer instead of strife. I heard today, real strength does not come from pushing people down but rather strength is shown when we build each other up.  After all, what do we have to lose, when we obey the Word of God? 

We have been called to ‘warn them that are unruly’ but that must come with much grace and mercy, knowing that we could be next.  

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36 thoughts on “TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE…

  1. Praying for your whole family. I agree with you completely about forgiveness! I have someone who misunderstood something I said and got my best friend (her boyfriend is the one who misunderstood me) to stop talking to me… Been praying for God to vindicate me. I am even willing to have him part of my life because he is part of hers and have forgiven them both. Thank you for being the light Jesus tells us to be in Matthew 5:16! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is perhaps the most difficult exercise for Christ-followers: to forgive those who need it.
    We tend to wait till the offender apologizes or repents, thinking that NOW, they’ll “deserve” the forgiveness.
    But forgiveness that is deserved is less that forgiveness. Just how Father loved us when we were in rebellion is how we are to love our offenders; and He makes it VERY CLEAR, that He will withhold forgiveness if we withhold it!
    “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15
    This is because when we are withholding forgiveness, it means we do not understand how He works.
    “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” C.S.Lewis, The Weight of Glory
    ❤️& 🙏, c.a.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen and amen and amen indeed!!! I do believe most of us believe that is between two, when indeed it is between three… the God of the universe is part of this forgiveness we extend forgiveness even though that person does not think they need it because we give them and the pain to the Lord

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I told my kids that forgiveness is not for the person they are forgiving, but for themselves. The person you forgive often will never know that forgiveness has taken place. We forgive because God first forgave us so if we cannot forgive people He will not for us either. I guess a pretty simple way to explain it, but it got the job done.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you should reconcile with that person. I have a nephew that is no longer allowed in my life. He is toxic and would not change how he treats me. He is the type that will talk nice to your face and then tear you apart behind your back. I always taught my kids to be careful what they say and do to people especially in anger because even though they may forgive you they will never forget what you said or how you treated them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think forgiveness is so important but I do think, at times, it can send the message that we should allow the continuation of toxic behavior in the name of forgiveness. I truly believe it is sometimes best to forgive while still keeping that person distanced, regardless of the relationship you had with them. Just some thoughts and maybe a different perspective! I am curious your thoughts on this situation, as well! Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Forgiveness isn’t passive but rather active, which mean the one to which forgiveness is given is told though we have released them and pain and to the Lord, because they have not repented a relationship cannot continue. They will just do the exact same thing over and over again. We give them over to the Lord but they should be told either verbally or in written form

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I just read in 2 Corinthians about a brother who had sinned and been removed from the church’s fellowship… but when he repented, Paul admonished them to not only to forgive him and bring him back into their fellowship, but to confirm their love for him. Tall order, and so good. God bless you. May God heal your heart and may the lock-down pass quickly. Get well, family!! ♥♥

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great message, Brenda! I had opportunity to let God flow through me the other day when a family member hurt me. He was selfish and unfeeling, and he really doesn’t know that he did anything wrong. That’s okay; it’s between him and God, and I’m praying that God is using this to bring him to Himself. But God held me, let me take my hurts to Him, He comforted me, and I can freely forgive. I do really love him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The worst pain and hurt often stems from those closest to us. Probably because we least expect it. They are usually the most difficult to forgive simply because most times they refuse to acknowledge their wrong and because again we least expected the pain to come from there. But again even as Christians we continually fall short of God’s standard. What choice do we have?

      Liked by 1 person

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