YOU, ME OR US?

Hey friends, how are you today? You… how are you today? Some days, our responsibilities and roles and tasks and commitments do not allow us to remember that we are individuals.  So much of life’s happenings call for a people group or togetherness that at times, our individuality fades into the background.  It’s hard to separate my duties and my roles from me, as a person.  Wow… we stumbled into the heart of this post, rather quickly, didn’t we? Let’s back up a bit… 

How are you doing today? Take a minute to evaluate your health and well-being; how do you feel today? At times, we are so involved in the lives of others that we neglect our own well-being.  When I just got married, a few years ago, well 27 years ago to be exact (not quite so few, but I digress; back to the point). Actually, it was before we got married, I made the decision to attach my husband’s name to my maiden-name, there by taking on two last names with a hyphen in between.  Part of the reason for this was simply because most of my documents were already in my maiden name and I did not want the frustration that was sure to be involved in the changes.  Part two was that I did not want to lose my individuality, my identity.  I should admit here that beliefs and actions do not always align (I will come back to this point).  

A few years ago, there was a friend who constantly called me “Mrs (———), insert my husband’s first name. When I objected, I was reminded that according to the Bible, ‘the two shall be one flesh (Gen. 2:24).  Well… in the spirit of this verse, very few would actually refer to my husband as, ‘Mr. Brenda’ (just saying… for those in the back).  Anyway, was someone erased when the Lord said this? Did I become my husband? Did I put on his identity? Do I no longer exist?  If that were so, then perhaps he will stand in my place before the Lord on ‘that day’. I do not believe that this verse meant I was to lose my identity (myself) in my role as a wife.  If that were so, there would be no need for the Lord to include in His Word, my responsibilities, and tasks as a wife, but He did, so I suppose, I do exist.  

Although as I previously said, I kept my maiden name to acknowledge my individuality, I admit that did not prove to be a success.  At the beginning of our marriage, I so wanted to be the ‘perfect’ wife, that at times, I completely lost the person, the Lord desired me to become.  I was a teacher, a sister, a friend, a daughter, but I neglected all to ‘become’ a wife.  I did the same thing when I had kids; I ‘became’ a mom.  My whole life was surrounded by these roles until I hardly existed.  I was busy ‘wife(ing) and mom(ing).  

It was quite a few years later, I had an epiphany.  As I went along wife(ing) and mom(ing) it occurred to me, that I was also ‘becoming’.  The Lord in His gracious and wonderful wisdom used these roles to shape and mold me in His image.  He was making me more like Himself, all along, isn’t that amazing?

As Christians, our doings matter because they help us to become and it’s the becoming that matters most to the Lord.  He uses my everyday roles, my responsibilities, my commitments, my tasks to make me more like Him. He looks like love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  He desires that I love like He loves, so He places people in my life to love.  He wants me to forgive like He does, so in my life’s journey, He gives me the opportunity to do just that.  

My purpose in life is to glory the Lord by becoming more like Him.  I do this when I obey His Word, but first I must know His Word.   He uses life to reformat my character. As I submit to my husband, I learn to submit to the Lord’s authority. As I work, I put on ‘dignity and strength’. As I raise our girls, I am reminded that I first must be the example. They are looking at me, they are reading the pages of my life.  

We are in this together, but each of us as individual Christians have a responsibility to be Christ-like. It is my responsibility to be like Christ, you come along side to encourage and edify and admonish, but at the end of the day, I am responsible for my walk with the Lord.  

How are you doing today? Who are you edifying and encouraging today? Name someone that has encouraged you in your walk with the Lord.

Check me out on Instagram. Let’s continue the conversation over on Instagram. Follow my Instagram and I will follow back, just let me know in the comment section. I would love to meet you 🙂

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22 Thoughts

  1. I am reminded to be grateful that while it is my responsibility to submit to becoming more Christ-like, it actually the Lord who does the work in my heart. I could never change on my own!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Brenda, Something I read in an IG post or somewhere on social this past year was “We don’t spend enough time asking “How’s your heart?” Wow… that hit me. Right now, I am not doing okay and I feel anyone in my area who says they are is either lying or blind because the division is unreal and things are not okay. But heart wise… my heart is doing well because it’s in the hands of a father who loves me!

    I do struggle to separate myself from what I do. I live and work in my passions and gifts and therefore it all flows together. Both a gift and a curse at times.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello, Brenda! You for asking how I am doing. As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes you’re the only person who asks me this. I was encouraged yesterday by my friend Bob. He reminded me that my sons know that I love them, even though their mother and I are divorced. I hope you have a blessed day!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I spent 52 years with my maiden name. When I married, I was so proud to be “Mrs. Wire,” and to take my husband’s name. For me, it was an acknowledgement that I was moved from under the authority of my father’s name to my husband’s name. We all get our names from our families, and the male usually carries the name.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😁🙌🏽 I don’t mind the last name, it’s the Mrs. —-[first name of the spouse) well I should say, I do not actually mind. I absolutely love this man of mine 😆😆but at times, I find it difficult in life, to remember I am responsible for me too 😅 marriage is a beautiful institution, I highly recommend 🥰🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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