Becoming HIS Tapestry

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SOMETIMES, I AM MY WORST ENEMY

Hey friends, how are you today? How was your week? Did you hear about the snow in Montana last week? I was so very thankful, that the snow stayed on that side of the country, thank the Lord.  Although our weather wasn’t that better, actually.  Our temperatures actually dropped into the 30s°.  We had to turn on the heat in our house at the very start of October. What do you think? Is this a sign of things to come? I sure hope not.  This week should herald temperatures in the 60s° and lows in the 40s°, much better than last week’s 37°.  

Reflection of the trees in the puddles

Did you miss me? Unexpectedly, I took a brief hiatus last week.  I didn’t intend to; it just happened that way.  Although I didn’t make my Tuesday post, I had every intention of rescheduling for Wednesday and Friday, but of course that didn’t happen.  It occurred to me, last week, that at times, I am my worst enemy.  

I know what I have to do, but I allow distractions into my life, knowing that deadlines may not be met.  All the while, conveniently telling myself, I still have time.  In actuality, I chose something far less profitable and very much worthless.  I find it easy to blame the enemy for the distractions, as if I had no part in it; as if I didn’t have a choice.  At times, I am my worst enemy.   

Do you know that my worst enemy isn’t at all the enemy of my soul?  He has already been defeated.  No, no that title of worst enemy goes to none other than me.  I have been granted every opportunity and have been provided with every trait needed to succeed, but I at times, instead of claiming the victory, I put on my victim suit and wallow in self pity.  Why do I struggle so? Why can’t I just choose God’s way, all the time? Why? It’s not like I don’t know what to do, I know it.  

I have very good intentions.  Most weeks, I schedule my time in order to accomplish the tasks to which I have been assigned.  But usually by halfway through, I am no longer adhering to the Plan.  “Prone to wonder, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God, I love”. I found myself asking the question, “who are you becoming? My actions have a story to tell, but instead of allowing my Lord to write my story, I’ve taken charge of the tale.  At times, I am my worst enemy. 

I know that without Christ, no good can be found in me, yet I attempt to do good without God; an impossible feat, I dare say.  I know that I’ve been called to love others, but instead I want to love only those that love me.  Forgiveness is another character trait, I’ve been tasked with exercising, but at times, bitterness and vengeance is what I seek.  The Lord desires that I fellowship with others, to encourage and build up for His Kingdom but instead I allow fear to guide my steps and other times, I want pride to be my anchor.  

It really comes down to choices, does it not? Yes, the enemy of my soul places and will continue to place roadblocks in my way, but he does not and cannot make my choice for me.  I have been left with the options of choosing to obey the Word of God or choosing to do things in the ‘way the seems right’ to me.  Choices! Choices! Choices! It’s comes down to that (limited) free will, the Lord gave me at birth. The paths are right there, but do I go left or do I go right? Sometimes left looks promising, but it requires that I compromise the Word of God in some way.  Right involves surrender and submission to a Greater Authority, but I want to lead, not follow. 

The struggle to choose the right way versus my way is a difficult task and at times, I choose the easy way out.  What brings that on? Could it be that I don’t trust God? Could it be that I don’t believe in His goodness? Maybe I do not trust His perfect love for me.  But how can that be Lord, when You’ve proven Your love over and over again for me? You’ve shown me more mercy than I could ever deserve, not that I deserve one iota of Your precious mercy. You’ve demonstrated Your might and Your power over and over and over again.  Why do I struggle to do right? Sometimes, I am my worst enemy.   

Today, I’ll begin again.  I’m handing over the reins to You Lord.  I’m giving You the pen, Your write my story.  You always tell a better tale, anyway. I’m choosing You, Lord. 

Come with me, there’s room for one more in this sweet narrative.  Will you join me?   How was your week? 

Let’s continue the conversation over on Instagram. Follow my Instagram and I will follow back, just let me know in the comment section. I would love to meet you 🙂

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53 responses to “SOMETIMES, I AM MY WORST ENEMY”

  1. Hi Brenda, I nominated you for the sunshine blogger award on my blog. There is no obligation to participate. I am grateful for the value your blog brings to my faith walk! Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. I’ve come to learn that God appreciates our honesty, because He already knows! Thank you for your transparency. I’m so glad He looks on us with compassion and knows our weakness. Yet He loves us still and redirects us. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. Hello Brenda,
    I enjoy reading your lively and refreshing words. They are like a fresh cup of spring water. “Being our own worse enemy!” Indeed! Isn’t it so true! More reasons for us to keep leaning on God’s word. We are blessed beyond, beyond and then, beyond. Thank you Brenda!

    Your new friend ~ Penny [gentlepen]

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  5. I’m not sure if my message went through or not but if not..this post is so relatable and every time I read Paul’s words on this I think ‘yup I get that!!’

    I do exactly what I don’t want to do but I love the simplicity you have shown here by bringing light to the fact that we ultimately get to CHOOSE good or bad choices and Paul reminds us that it’s because of Jesus that he’ll be able to get through!! And the same is true for us!
    Romans 7:24-25❤️

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    • amen and amen 🙂 praise the Lord for choices, because it leaves us without excuse 🙂 sometimes, I would like this excuse 🙂 but I can’t use it; which I always remind our girls of all the time 🙂 No one MAKES us do anything

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  7. Hello Beloved, yes, it is so easy to blame the devil for everything, especially when we let our carnal desires rule. At sometime or another we all succumb to pleasing our flesh. For me so, often it’s “Just one more scoop of ice cream please.” As, I loosen the grip of my belt. LOL 😊 However, at times we are our worst enemy – but, could it be, from time to time God wants us to simply Relax and stop being so hard on ourselves!

    Blessings,
    https://gabrielsinspirations.wordpress.com

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  10. So true. Surrender and self – always at war. But thankfully, we get to turn over a new leaf whenever we realize the error of our ways and turn back to Him. The trouble is sometimes we beat ourselves up so much (falling for the enemy’s taunts that we’ve messed up too many times) that we feel unworthy to return. The struggle is real! Thanks for sharing!

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  11. I’ve had a hard time keeping up with life lately. I just pray it gets better. I believe that God can give me the strength, but I also know that sometimes he allows me to see just how weak I really am without him, so that I sincerely give him the credit for my capacity the next time I’m strong!

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  14. Great post, Brenda. It would be all too easy to blame the devil for everything, but you’re absolutely right; he has been defeated. We have no excuses when we have Jesus as our guide through life. We do make our mistakes anyways, but our Lord is quick to forgive us or sins when we confess. 😊 ❤

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  17. I am thankful the snow stayed away from my neck of the woods too. I am not ready at all for snow. I appreciate your honesty. I do not think we all realize how we can sabotage the very thing God wants to do through us because of a setback or a wagging tongue. We have to remember the enemy of our soul has been defeated and we need to walk in our victorious inheritance.

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  18. Eh. Bleh. I had one of those days yesterday. Nothing went right. Things dropped of their own accord. My timing was off on almost everything I attempted. Everything was too hard. I sulked. God reminded me of His mercy. I smiled a little. Sulked a little. God held me. I let Him, and didn’t jump out.
    I’m better today. God is good. He always is.

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  21. Thanks for the post. God is so good! This week, we adopted a stray cat. Taking her to the vet tonight. Without getting into a long story, this little kitty is an answer to prayer – my kids’ prayers, that is! Pretty neat to see them taking care of their pet. So, it’s been a great week! 🙂

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  24. I am constantly my own worst enemy….working on that will be a life long journey for me 🙂 Thankfully I have God on my side and He forgives me over and over when I keep trying to take control. I am praying for His patience while He keeps working on me to hand that control over. We had to turn on our heat last week as well. 😦 Grateful that it is warmer this week! God Bless!

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    • thank you, my friend 🙂 Indeed, God is good 🙂 and faithful even in our unfaithfulness. I really desire to do better and so I will do better 🙂 I want to enjoy this week because our temperature goes back down next week 🙂 God bless you, my friend

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