Hello Friends, how are you today? We are having a beautiful day today; although I had to get up earlier than I like and the workers are already pounding away on the neighbor’s roof and it’s like 58°… But hey, who’s counting? Because… Psalm118 24 How are you today? How shall you respond to the happenings of this day?

This is my friend Darlene at Healed to Speak.  I actually stumbled across Darlene’s blog while writing this month’s series on marriage.  I honestly felt she hit the nail on the head, in every single one of her marriage posts.  It’s a beautiful thing, when you find someone who can express, what seems like your thoughts so eloquently.  She’s good.. Check out her blog, I promise, you will not be disappointed.

Hello everyone. My name is Darlene and I am a Christian, wife, mother, and blogger at Healed to Speak. I am grateful for the opportunity to write a guest blog for Brenda at Becoming His Tapestry.  The transparency in her blogs has been a blessing to me.  

Over the last ten weeks, I have been led by God to focus my blog posts on marriage. Marriage is a wonderful journey instituted by God and it is the only relationship that mirrors God’s love for His church. Marriage proves how much God loves. He decided to create someone for us with the purpose of becoming more like God while using our spouses in that process. I am grateful to God for marriage, but in my almost thirteen years, I have sometimes felt the love was not enough.  

What do you mean? Well…Have you ever felt like you have tried everything to improve your marriage, but you are running out of options? Have you ever felt like you are at the end of your rope? Have you shared how you felt with your spouse and nothing has changed? Have your marital issues worsened? Have you prayed to God and still see no change? Have you ever felt that way in your marriage? I cannot be the only one.

About a month ago, my husband and I had an honest conversation about this. We ended our conversation with two opposing ideas. My husband believed love was enough and I believed it was not.  But as I was praying and contemplating about what to write to you, this subject came back to me. “Knowing that God is love and His love is unconditional, I felt the question within me: What if God said that to me?” How would I feel if the Heavenly Father said to me, my love to Him is not enough? …that I need to earn his love as if what took place at Calvary wasn’t enough.” 

Whoa! Powerful right? When I heard this, it made me view everything in my marriage differently. The love we have for our spouses must go beyond Eros love, which is the physical, sensual intimacy between a husband and wife. The love we have for our spouses must be the love God demonstrates towards us, which is Agape love. This love is not based on feelings, but it is a sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, and even death for the benefit of another without expecting anything in return. This is the cornerstone of God’s love for us.  

1 John 4:8 tell us, Anyone who does not love, does not know God, because God is love.” Therefore, how could love not be enough?

On many occasions, I have heard the terms agape, but in the context of the love relationship between Christians. I never heard this word discussed in the context of the marriage where it counts most. We are commanded to show Agape love towards our brothers in Christ, but how can we show this love to our brothers if we cannot continuously demonstrate this love towards our spouses? 

This means when times get tough in marriage, or my husband is getting on my last nerve, I must love him with God’s agape love; not my own. This means it goes beyond my own strength, thoughts, and feelings, and it is God’s way of teaching us how to love. This is exactly the way our heavenly Father loves us. No strings attached and no expectations. This does not mean love gives our spouses the right to mistreat us…absolutely not. However, it does mean regardless of what they do, our job is to love them beyond it.  

So, when you find yourself at your wits end with your spouse and you don’t know what to do, choose love. More importantly, choose God’s love; the kind that covers a multitude of sins.  

1 John 4:8
I Corinthians 13:4-8
I John 4:20

Thank you so much for this post, Darlene.  Thank you.

Wow! What a novel idea! What would our spousal relationship look like, if we choose to love like this? What if we choose to love our spouse unconditionally, unfailingly, unwaveringly? I do believe the Lord would say, “Well done”, don’t you?  Because the only way we can love like this, is when we are able to…Luke 10:27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,and your neighbor as yourself.”