Becoming HIS Tapestry

Christian Lifestyle Blogger

IMPERFECT PARENTS PARENTING IMPERFECTLY

Hey friends, how are you today? We have a chilly start to our day, the wind has been whipping through the trees, even the birds are in hiding today.   But it’s still early in the morning, hopefully the sun will filter through the clouds to usher some warmth. What did you do over the weekend?

Are you a first born? Thankfully I’m not a first born.  I think the disadvantage of being a first born is that you become the ‘trial and error’ kid. “Oh… this didn’t work?” “Let us try that”.  Of course, you get the ‘best’ because you are the first born, but because most parents don’t really know what the ‘best’ is; you become the one they experiment on (sorry).  But there’s grace, right? The siblings that come after also learn to avoid the pit falls of the first. But again, there’s grace, right? Our first born is reminded of that all the time.  

As new parents, it’s takes time to grasp the character of the child. It takes knowledge, which again takes time to understand the natural ‘bent’ of a child. New parents are often bombarded with advice and we don’t yet know what we should adhere to and which to ignore.  Everyone knows better than the first-time parent, it’s easy to feel totally incompetent. We read so many books for new parents with our first born, that it’s now possible to write one ourselves.  We made so many mistakes as new parents that we thank the Lord for grace. Can love really ‘cover a multitude of sins?’ I think we will need it to do just that.  It takes time for us to realize ‘mom was right, after all, or was she?   

Cleo should really accept that practice makes perfect, right? Usually, if she compares her upbringing with her sister’s, she hears, “take to the Lord in prayer”.  Frequently she is reminded that perfect parents do not exist, and that she should do better, when she has her own children (I’m sure we’ve all heard that before). 

I do tell her of the Perfect Parent though, the One we do try to model after, but of course, because we are imperfect people, we sometimes miss the mark.  I tell her to go to her Perfect Parent, tell Him all about her woes and complains, because whether she believes it or not, she too, will not be a perfect parent. They really don’t exist.  It’s imperative as parents that we point our kids to the Perfect Parent. We need them to take their eyes off us and place it on the One, Who loves them more than we do.  Sounds impossible, but it’s true. 

A few years ago, I asked the girls to compile a list of what a perfect parent should look like, of course, our second born said I was the perfect parent (my baby). But oh no, not our first born, here’s what she had to say: 

The perfect parent never, ever runs out of patience

The perfect parent always, extends grace and mercy to their children

The perfect parent listens quietly, with the perfect answer for every problem

The perfect parent forgives quickly, without requiring any groveling or, ‘I told you, so’

The perfect parent never, ever raises the voice in anger or frustration

The perfect parent gently, repeats the instructions as many times as needed, 

The perfect parent knows always to say the right thing at the right time

The perfect parent always, disciplines compassionately and lovingly

The perfect parent gives wholly and willingly 

The perfect parent is always wise and diligent 

 Well, I can assure that description does not fit me, at all, especially with such qualifiers as ‘always and never’.  Do you know such a parent?  

Well, I do!  He is just and fair and guess what?   He has no favorites among His children. He loves each one, unconditionally and unwaveringly. He forgives completely.  He gives new grace and mercy every morning. His plans are perfect and unique for each of His children. He never, ever blesses one at the expense of another.  He knows and calls each one by name.  And the best news is He knows my name.  Does He know yours?

←
→

64 responses to “IMPERFECT PARENTS PARENTING IMPERFECTLY”

  1. The first born also gets to boss around the siblings.. lol..We are not perfect parents but we strive to do our best with nothing but best intentions at heart.yes we make mistakes. .we r only humans.so we do our best and leave it rest on God.
    On a lighter note,I had started the practice of kids sharing their grievances about us every week end hoping that it will help me improve as a mother.But after a few weeks I had to stop or I would get into a depression thinking how many mistakes I make ..lol

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  8. Great reminder that there is only one Perfect Parent. I also loved your description of firstborns, I generally refer to myself as the parent of children I didn’t have. 😂 Great post!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  12. Hello Brenda! Indeed. I am first born (and I say hallelujah to that). Grace, truly. 🙂 I can relate with what you said. I, also, am now a parent. Just last night, I was guilty of the very same behavior I always thought my parent did wrong. Now I understand. No perfect parents. But regardless, our parents love us perfectly and this is what matters.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  13. Thank you daughter for the “Perfect Parent” list. However, she was 40 years late to help me..Ask her if she would do a “Perfect Grandparent” list. I have 9 grand-kids waiting for me to get with the program.
    God bless you and your idealist offspring.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  14. I was the first-born….life is NOT fair, lol 🙂 This is a WONDERFUL article and while we often point our children to God, I never thought of referring to Him as the Perfect Parent. What a wonderful idea…I’m “stealing” it 🙂 All too often, I have to apologize to our children and I tell them time and again that we are not perfect people. We make mistakes just like they do. And while I do believe there is immense value in that (our parents NEVER apologized to either of us!), I absolutely love the idea of pointing them to the Perfect Parent. Thank you for blessing me with this, Brenda! God Bless you and your family!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    • You can certainly ‘steal’ it 🙂 🙂 I realized that our kids have a clearer understanding of grace both for their parents and also for themselves, when they don’t set impossible standards for us, but rather seek the Lord for perfection

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  16. Great article as always Brenda, seasoned with well-chosen scriptures! I was not a first-born child. Apparently, I was an easy child to raise (according to my dear mother!). She was practically perfect in my eyes! I know I’ve made (and make) mistakes and wish I could change some things in the past, but that’s not possible, so the best I can do is say sorry, I’m not perfect. Thanks be to God for GRACE and MERCY.

    Blessings!
    ❤️carmen

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  18. Not only should my child take his woes to the Father but I need to start taking my woes of being imperfect as a parent to God. Today I have been feeling less than adequate as a parent. This article helped as i applied it to me being God’s child.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

      • so again today- I had to just lay out my day. My son tried to guilt me about time with him (he is 21). But I had work til noon, therapy by bus to and from, medicine errand, home 90 min break, Vacation Bible school participant then home by 9. He was unhappy I had missed our appt at 430am to watch him play his online gaming towards being a pro. When I got home he asked me to spend my 90 minutes running an errand for him, in the heat, (I was already as red as a radish from my errands and he had been home all day and had no plans to leave). it would take up my 90 minutes at home and run me right into VBS without a breath. I said I didnt want to but I would. Then I added he had to start doing these things himself even when he was having a bipolar day like today.
        A few curse words and a lecture towards me later…he went to bed instead of running the errand himself (that was part of the cursing that he would take care of it).
        But I have got to let things fall through for him or he will never learn that he can handle it alone. AND that – it NEVER happens alone– God is there!
        I am bi-polar and he does not even let me roll my eyes on a bad day without a lecture and admonish about me getting through with life and dealing without taking it out on others. …Let alone could I ever yell and curse him for not running MY errands that have nothing to do with him. He has to learn He has to get to the point where he asks”so how do you get through it all?” — then the door will open for him t hear about casting our cares upon our Father. I am looking forward to that day.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I’m praying for you, my friend. One mini step at a time 🙂 I will also keep your son in prayer. It is hard at times to not make life about just us. It takes keeping our eyes on the Lord to care enough about others. May the Lord be with you

        Liked by 2 people

      • Lord God, You are infinity gracious and loving beyond our comprehension. I stand in agree met with my Christ sister that she will remember by prompting of the Holy Spirit to lay things down before the throne and not try to fix them in her own strength like we humans do. Bless her and this wonderful ministry. Grant her peace, grant her patience and passion to pursue you and your will. Let her know your presence around her as she walks through life and situations that tempt her to take control. Allow the Spirit to remind her YOU our GOD are bigger than us. You have all power, all influence, and resources and promptings we can’t imagine. You are the greatest. As she worships you bless her and her family abundantly drawing them close to you in protection and care and for your glory. In your son’s Holy name- Jesus, Amen

        Liked by 1 person

  23. This, that it “takes time to grasp the character of the child. It takes knowledge, which again takes time to understand the natural ‘bent’ of a child.” I do so wish I’d had more understanding of who my son was, what were his “bents,” strengths, weaknesses, delights. I wish so often I’d been a better parent. But, as you say, GRACE! Oh, God is so good!
    And, I love this: “He never, ever blesses one at the expense of another. ” God’s blessings always go all around. How amazing is that?!

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply

  25. It is hard being a parent at times. Our kids are 11 and 9. I have made my fair share of mistakes, but as you said, our family rests in the grace and forgiveness of the Lord and we offer that to each other daily. By the way, it snowed here yesterday and last night and it is 32 degrees today. It is May 21st and all of us here in Colorado are real tired of winter. I have been asking the Lord to bring warm weather. So ready for summer! 🙂 God bless!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  26. That sure does sound like a good description of our Perfect Parent! I know there’s no such thing on earth, and I bet all of us have done things we claimed we’d never do once WE were parents 😊 It’s hard! But I love how you tell them to go to their Perfect Parent when they have a problem with their earthly parents. What a great opportunity to point them further to Christ in a way they can relate. Hugs Brenda! ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    • Amen 🙏🏽 😂😂😂 there were so many things I said I’d never do, when I became a parent, but here I am 😂😂 doing the same things, so will they, when they become parents themselves. But for the grace of Heavenly Father, where would we be? I tell our girls all the time, stay close to the Lord, then you will be the best version of a godly parent that you can be 😂😂

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

%d bloggers like this: