I DON’T WANT TO BE ME, ANYMORE!

When I was a little girl I mentally swapped my life for someone else’s, all the time.  I was convinced I would be happier if I was more athletic like her or taller like her, or more bold like her.  I didn’t like being me, because being me was no fun at all.   My imaginary life was always better than mine.Jer 17 9Well I recently realized that I was right all along, but I used the wrong standard. I really don’t want to be me anymore. But the standard isn’t the next person; it’s the Word of God.  Why don’t I want to be me anymore?  Me isn’t a nice person.  Me isn’t kind or compassionate. Me thinks way too much about herself to be concerned about anyone else.  Me rarely does something for anyone if it’s not attached to an ulterior motive. Me thinks, “how does he/she benefit my life?”  Me can be pretty selfish.  Me often doesn’t think before she speaks.  Me can be very critical, especially when things are not done her way. Me always thinks she is right, all the time.  Me hates saying sorry.  Me has the tendency to be somewhat of a perfectionist; she hesitates to do things if she is not absolutely convinced it will be perfect.  Me can be a loner at times, she gets tired of people quickly. Me gets very impatient with people and has been known to be mean sometimes.  Me also has the tendency to hold grudges. Me struggles with pride.   Me is sometimes afraid to try new or uncomfortable things.  Me likes sameness: she struggles with change (unless she implements it, of course).  Do you see why now, I don’t want to be me anymore? Me finds it hard to obey God and take Him at His Word.  She becomes anxious when situations are beyond her control. Oh yes, me has control issues.  I just don’t want to be me, anymore! Eph 4 32I want to be kind to others.  I want to forgive faster; not just with words, but primarily demonstrate that with actions. (Ephesians 4:32)  I want to think of others better than myself; I want to be unselfish and humble.  (Philippians 2:3, 4) I want to open my mouth with wisdom and I want the law of kindness to be on my tongue (Proverbs 31:26).  I want to be anxious for nothing, but in everything I want to bring my desires and needs before God. (Philippians 4:6). I want to edify and encourage others (I Thessalonians 5:11).rom 5 20   And I want to do good works (Ephesians 2:10) and spur others unto good works (Hebrews 10:24).  I want to put on strength and honor as my clothing (Proverbs 31:25).  I want to be a woman of integrity and dignity. I want to be known as a woman of joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness. (Galatians 5:22, 23).   I want to be characterized as a loving woman (I Corinthians 13:1). I want to be her now; I want to be that virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10).  pro-31-30 How about you? Do you want to be Me?closing1brenda

 

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78 comments

  1. Intentionality really is the key to following God daily. We get to choose who will lead us. And it’s certainly the wiser move to follow Him than ourselves! Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I love this perspective. It reminds me of Romans 18-20: “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” It was one of the first verses of the Bible that resonated with me and gave me that “I don’t want to be me anymore” feeling.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I have done the same thing in the past. I wanted to live like this person, have that friend’s sense of humor, or wanted to look like this other person. It really hit me when you wrote, “Well I recently realized that I was right all along, but I used the wrong standard. ” So very true!!

    Liked by 4 people

  4. This is fantastic Brenda, so true for me. Isn’t God’s grace a wonder. I always said, “I just wish I was normal,” and my husband very early on in our marriage said to me, “Lauren, the only normal person left is Jesus, everyone else is fallen. So if you want to be normal, look at him, be like him.”
    Bless you today. L

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I love this! definitely see this ‘Me’ in this post
    “Me hates saying sorry.  Me has the tendency to be somewhat of a perfectionist;”
    I see Me all over this post and I agree with you, I don’t want to be this Me anymore.
    Thanks. 🌸✨

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Oh man, me too!!! I used to mentally switch me out too! I want the same things you want! I am praying for patience while I am trying so hard to let God have control so He can change me into that woman…may it happen sooner rather than later, lol! God Bless!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I told my mom that when I grew up I would dye my hair black like my Barbie doll’s hair! She was aghast since I have redhair. Our default is to compare and contrast and to come up short (or come up with redhair) – thankful, as you so beautifully wrote, that God’s given us His holy standard that He continually processes into our lives as we seek Him and soak in the newness of His life in us. Great post! (PS I didn’t dye my hair…)

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Oh Sister, you hit me with beautiful conviction today–“beautiful”, because that’s how the Lord, our Good Father delivers convicting words, with tender love; He doesn’t beat us up. Wonderful post–and aren’t you just LOVELY!! Good to meet you, and may God richly bless you today! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Amen and Amen! Nope – I don’t want to be me, either! When our identity is firmly rooted in Christ, we strive to please Him, not anyone else. Love this message, my friend! Thank you so much for joining me at #MomentsofHope. You are a blessing ♥ And you are one of my featured writers this week!!!

    Like

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