Becoming HIS Tapestry

Christian Lifestyle Blogger

SEEKING THE LOVE OF A FATHER

Hey friends, how are you today? Ahh… today is an absolutely beautiful day, in my neck of the woods.  The sun is out, showcasing a glorious, cloudless, blue sky.  I love days like these, days with almost 80° temperatures.  Days which display the wonder of the fall foliage. The beauty of the colors as the rays of the sun hit the leaves of the trees.  Days that prominently exhibit the unconditional love of the Perfect God to His imperfect people.  

Can you see it? It’s a love in which we can find comfort. We can rest here, in His loving arms.  There is joy in the presence of this Faithful, Promise Keeping God.  It will be okay, whatever ‘it’ is because we can trust in the faithfulness of the God. The One, who created Heaven and earth.   Truly He is bigger than the sum of all our problems. 

I had to draw on the faithfulness of our God last week.  In the midst of feeling ill, with a pretty bad cold for the most of last week, my dad died last Wednesday.  Although, his death was eminent, I think I was still somewhat unprepared when I received that call.  “My heart is in tears, dad is dead”.  Just a few words, yet the profound changes this brought as a result.  I have been especially blessed; I realize that now.  I grew up, thinking I didn’t like men much, in general. But throughout my lifetime, the Lord has truly allowed me to see the beauty of His people.  

I grew up with a stepfather that, although he said he was a Christian, did not recommend the Lord in his actions.  It was difficult to trust men after him.  To some extent, even as an adult, the lens through which I view others, especially men, is still shaped by his actions.  But faithful remains our God and Keeper of Promises is He.  He redeems, He renews, and He restores.  

My grandfather replaced my father in many ways.  Significantly, he loved me and demonstrated what that fatherly love should be; I am thankful for that.  The Lord also placed my pastor, who was my uncle in my life. He loved the Lord, and he loved people.  He nurtured my relationship with the Lord and encouraged me to serve the Lord.  I am truly thankful for him.

Now my biological father, that was relationship that was fraught with issues.  Initially, I didn’t really know what to do with him.  I had not grown up with him in my life, at all.  On the fringes of my life was the knowledge that the man in the house was not my dad.  But where was my dad?

It took the Lord a very long time to help me to forgive my dad.  Many will say, he did nothing for which he needed my forgiveness.  But don’t you realize… that’s exactly why I needed to forgive him because he did nothing.  He wasn’t there, he could do nothing.  I think I hated him for that if I am being honest.  What’s the purpose of a dad, if not to protect? But in order to protect, he needs to be there.

In my late 20s and early 30s, my husband encouraged and encouraged and encouraged and encouraged me to allow my dad to heal the relationship. At this point in my life, my only thought was, what do I need a dad for? What is the point of him at this time in my life? I didn’t need a dad now.  What role was he supposed to play in my life? I didn’t want to; I didn’t see the point of the relationship.  

Ahh but God.  He is good and perfect and wonderful. He does good.  He taught me to forgive in this relationship. I think no other relationship in my life fostered forgiveness more than this one.  Many would think I needed to forgive my stepfather more, even hubby didn’t understand.  It was not the job of my stepfather to be my dad.  This role belonged to one man only and he was absent for most of it.  

Ahhh…but God.  He is faithful and true and kind.  He is good.  As the God of the universe helped me to release that debt against my dad, what began was a wonderful friendship between us.  I no longer needed protection, guidance, leadership from him.  

So, the Lord gave me a friend instead.  Throughout the last few years, we spoke regularly, no less than monthly, most times, twice monthly.  My life was richer from having him in my life.  He filled a void, I didn’t know I still had.  He encouraged me and was a good grandfather to our girls.  He kept up with them and invested in their lives.  

Truly, I can say I thank God for him and thank the Lord for the time we had together.  I will remember him fondly.  I still find myself waiting for his phone call.  There will be a void in my life because of his absence.  But this time, it will be, because I am missing my friend, who was also my dad.  Thank You Lord for my dad.

They are all dead now, my grandfather, my stepfather, my uncle and now my dad. Throughout that time though, one Father remained steady and unchanging, my Heavenly Father.  I know now, He was the only Father, I ever needed, my Lord and Master, my Heavenly Father.  

Do you need a father? He is the only Father left in this world for me.  But I must say throughout my life, He truly has been the best Father, any girl can claim as her own.  He guides and He protects, He loves unconditionally, and He forgives quickly.  He keeps no record of wrong and He gives good gifts.  He shows mercy when I most need it and extends grace to cover a multitude of bad behavior.  He makes me look good, even when I allow myself to be consumed with emotions.  

He directs my path and shows the pitfalls along the way.  He goes before me to ensure the snares are mitigated.  Yet somehow, He stays behind me and around me to protect my back from unsuspecting incidents.  He is emphatic with His promises and keeps every single one of them.  Not one is broken. He is the best Father; any girl can claim as her own.

Do you need a father? He is true and sincere, there is no double tongue found in Him. He does not lie, not even to make me feel better.  He has an inexhaustible supply of the very things I need.  Although, He is the Father to numerous, He sees me, I’m not lost in the crowd. 

He calls me by my name.  He picks me out and is eager for us to talk.  He listens and He hears, and He acts.  His hands are never tied.  He understands and so makes His standards achievable.  And He is always there to assist in the success of these goals.  And then He rewards me for each success.  He draws close to me; He never confuses me with others.  

You love me.  Thank You, Lord for such unconditional, unwavering, unfailing love.  Do you know my Heavenly Father? Fathers are vital in the lives go their children. Do you agree? How can they help in their growth?

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22 responses to “SEEKING THE LOVE OF A FATHER”

  2. I read this with tears! You have such a beautiful heart. Your honesty nudges others to soften theirs. God is a good Father, and He uses the other people in our lives differently from season to season. So thankful for his healing and transformative power in our lives. Sending you a hug.

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  4. Brenda I am glad you experienced some restoration in your relationship with your earthly dad. I rejoice you know God as your eternal heavenly Father.

    I will never forget the day I visited my earthly father in the hospital and after telling him I had forgiven him, he trusted Jesus as his Savior.

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  8. What a wonderfully honest post, Brenda! Growing up, I had a father who was always present and who protected me from the wrath of my mother. I never knew when she would blow up at me…and there were five children, but I was the one she seemed to hate. She used to tell me that she never wanted me and how ugly I was. Daddy comforted and helped me to have more self-confidence. But when I got married and moved away, I don’t know what happened. My father became a drug addict, was being investigated by the local and federal authorities for bank fraud and ended up moving my mom and siblings to a different state. I didn’t know where they were for two years. When I finally heard from them again, my mom wasn’t as angry but she was broken. Daddy continued to pursue drugs and I tried to reason with him and keep the door open to communication with him. He died in 2017 with my youngest brother by his side, the one who said he would never have anything to do with daddy again after our father’s implication in our mother’s death. Anyway, I had a hard time forgiving, but I knew I had to be an example to my siblings, so I asked for God’s help and He came through for me. My health wasn’t good when he passed, so I said my farewells on a FaceTime call. My daddy died having both brothers at his side and praying for him. That was an unexpected blessing to me. I think of my father fondly and all of the times he battled for me against my abusive mom. But then, the drugs…those are hard memories to recall. But they are also part of what makes me who I am.

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  9. That’s a beautiful testimony, Brenda; thank you for sharing it with us. I love how God perfects our perspective as we grow in Him.

    My earthly father was “mostly” there for us, although I was mostly terrified of him when he was around. He mellowed immensely in his later years. God graced us with many years to build a loving and trusting relationship before he died last year. Much of that was God maturing me and giving me the vision to see that my dad really did love us; he hadn’t a clue how to show it (never had an example, himself). He did the best he knew how, and I can say that he was a very good man. No more tears when I see him in Heaven.

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  10. Oh boy…..what a cut to the center of my heart post….it’s fine…don’t worry……I’m fine…..I am learning to embrace these bleedings….the embracing and facing and admitting…..they all bring healing…..why I long for an earthly daddy when I have THEE BEST DADDY EVER is beyond me…..but I do…..but it also keeps me running to my Heavenly Father….so maybe that is why He never brings some other human man to fill that role for me…..and let’s me continue to feel the emptiness that a lack of an earthly father placed in my heart….I’m not dead yet, so maybe, just maybe one day I’ll meet him…..that man that longs for a daughter…that has a broken heart of his own….and just maybe we can help be a healing balm for each other…I don’t know what’s in store for me in that area…..

    Bottom line……one day I will shed this earthly body and be with my MOST FAVORITE FATHER for ALL eternity and what hasn’t happened during my mortal existence will all fade away…..NEVER to be remembered again….

    Yeshua’s Blessings and Comfort be upon you as you traverse the rest of the year and beyond……Hugs from Texas…..the weather is letting me get out and get some MUCH needed exercise – lol……but no running, I prefer to not have any black eyes….LOL…..

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