BEFORE YOU SAY, “I DO”

August is here, can you believe it?  We are now done with more than half of the year.  Some of us have celebrated births and birthdays and anniversaries. Others have found so few events to celebrate.  Throughout the past seven months, some things never changed. God did not abdicate his throne. He is still God and is still in control of His universe. You are created in the image of the Almighty God and you are loved unconditionally. The Almighty, All Powerful God thinks about you constantly. We are always on His mind.  We may have had unexpected surprises and disappointments.  Our circumstances may have been filled with heartaches and difficulties, but not one event, took the Lord by surprise.  Not only did it not take Him by surprise, it was already written down before you were born!ps-139-16.jpgLast week we celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary. We’ve both spent more time with each other than we’ve spent with anyone else, even our parents. The Lord has used marriage to grow us and teach us about ourselves and about Himself.  He used marriage to teach us to trust Him.  I learnt that God’s Word is not negotiable; neither can the Lord be manipulated. Yes, we grew up, not just physically but especially spiritually, as a result of this marriage. Here are a few suggestions from Benny before saying ‘I do’.

  1. Marry your friend _beauty is fleeting -when you marry a friend, you marry someone you know, not someone you think you know
  2. Avoid bringing debt into a marriage
  3. Pray together from the bringing – start at the courtship level
  4. Love God more than money and more than each other
  5. Stay married to your friend – don’t change the status, your spouse should be your best friend.

(Very concise and to the point, isn’t he? That’s one of the differences between us) Here are a few of the truths I understood more fully: 2115A71A-77D3-4FC4-BFEF-F91D4FDE5DBE

  1. I am not an extension of my husband.  I am an individual created in the image of God.  I am a person and the Lord will reward or judge me, using His Word as the standard.
  2. My identity isn’t found in my husband, nor is it found in my role as a wife.  Being a wife isn’t the reason for my existence. I exist to worship the Almighty God; this is accomplished when I obey His Word.
  3. My husband cannot read my mind (obviously right?) I am a fixer; most times I attempt to fix problems that my husband does not even know exist; I assumed he knew, I thought he would figure it out by my actions.  Speak up! Use words and please make it concise; try to avoid rambling and whining (it isn’t a good look)  (I’m still working on that one, concise isn’t in my nature)
  4. My husband isn’t responsible for my walk with the Lord.  That’s my responsibility; always was and always will be.  That’s part of being an individual; a person created in the image of God. Praying together is good, very good.  But praying together should not replace personal time with the Lord.
  5. My husband has to be the #1 person in my life. Next to the Triune God, my husband fits the best friend role and the secret keeper role.

Our marriage is a work in progress because we are a work in progress.  Marriage is hard work because it’s not in our nature to put the needs of others first.   You prepare to be the best husband or wife  by placing your identity fully in the Living God and resting in the assurance that your obedience to His Word is a personal calling; comes with salvation. It does not rely on your spouse.

Married people; what are a few things you’ve learnt as a result of your marriage?closing1brenda

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