How many times have we said these words? How many times have we heard it said?  “I won’t do it again, mom”; or (like I did) perhaps, you’ve recently said, “I won’t do it again, Lord”.  Have you ever said these words and perhaps wondered, why it’s so hard to keep that promise?  I remember as a child making these promises to my mom, especially to avoid a spanking.  I am sure, I meant it at the time.  I had every intention of never doing ‘it’ again.    Yet, the inevitable always happened.  I did it again.  There is an axiom that says, “The road to hell is filled with good intentions.”  I won’t do it; I won’t say it; I won’t go there; I won’t watch it, and very often sincerity is involved in that declaration.  

My season of life is changing; homeschooling isn’t as involved as it used to be, the house doesn’t take as long to clean anymore, and with a great husband and one very independent, seventeen year old daughter at home, there seem to be more time in my schedule.  I need to reorganize my time, in order to be more productive. But that’s harder to do than I thought, because it takes time to reorganize and that’s not a fun activity, so I procrastinate. At the beginning of each new day, I say to the Lord, “I won’t do it again”. Truthfully, I do not even like to work with procrastinators, they frustrate me, but here I am.  Why can’t I do better?  Why do I find it so hard to do right? I really do mean it; I want to do better, but I simply can’t seem to do it. Why? 

I’ve been doing it all wrong!  That’s the problem!  I’ve been depending on me to fix this issue and obviously, I can’t do it.  You see, I like my schedule, even though it isn’t as productive as it can be; as it should be.  At its root, is an empty promise, because I haven’t surrendered my time over to the Lord.  There will never be any change, because I am trying to change it myself.  It seemed like such an easy thing to attain, that I thought I could handle it.  When did I forget that God wants all of me, including my time? When did I forget that in my own strength I can do nothing good?  

That’s the key; that’s the answer! SURRENDER!

I’ve got it now, Lord.  I surrender my will over to the will of Your Precious Holy Spirit.