How many times have we said these words? How many times have we heard it said? “I won’t do it again, mom”; or (like I did) perhaps, you’ve recently said, “I won’t do it again, Lord”. Have you ever said these words and perhaps wondered, why it’s so hard to keep that promise? I remember as a child making these promises to my mom, especially to avoid a spanking. I am sure, I meant it at the time. I had every intention of never doing ‘it’ again. Yet, the inevitable always happened. I did it again. There is an axiom that says, “The road to hell is filled with good intentions.” I won’t do it; I won’t say it; I won’t go there; I won’t watch it, and very often sincerity is involved in that declaration.
My season of life is changing; homeschooling isn’t as involved as it used to be, the house doesn’t take as long to clean anymore, and with a great husband and one very independent, seventeen year old daughter at home, there seem to be more time in my schedule. I need to reorganize my time, in order to be more productive. But that’s harder to do than I thought, because it takes time to reorganize and that’s not a fun activity, so I procrastinate. At the beginning of each new day, I say to the Lord, “I won’t do it again”. Truthfully, I do not even like to work with procrastinators, they frustrate me, but here I am. Why can’t I do better? Why do I find it so hard to do right? I really do mean it; I want to do better, but I simply can’t seem to do it. Why?
I’ve been doing it all wrong! That’s the problem! I’ve been depending on me to fix this issue and obviously, I can’t do it. You see, I like my schedule, even though it isn’t as productive as it can be; as it should be. At its root, is an empty promise, because I haven’t surrendered my time over to the Lord. There will never be any change, because I am trying to change it myself. It seemed like such an easy thing to attain, that I thought I could handle it. When did I forget that God wants all of me, including my time? When did I forget that in my own strength I can do nothing good?
That’s the key; that’s the answer! SURRENDER!
I’ve got it now, Lord. I surrender my will over to the will of Your Precious Holy Spirit.