Hey friends, how are you today? October has almost come to an end and November is in sight. We are approaching the end of the year, too soon 2021 will be in our rear-view mirror. Time flies, does it not? But before the end of the year comes along, we have today. In the weather news today, our temperature stands at 52° with heavy, dark, overcast skies. The predicted nor’easter has finally landed on our shoes and the rain which started earlier will continue throughout the day and I absolutely love it. Have I told you before, I love days like these; misty, murky, muddy days? Especially at this time of the year, days like these call for pumpkin spice coffee and a cushy, cozy, comfy robe with squishy, soft shoes. Perfect!
I know you may not believe me now, but when I was younger, I was very, very shy. I hated to be singled out and I disliked any attention brought my way. As I grew older, more responsibilities were given to me that at times brought me to the forefront. I have found it is very difficult to remain in the background in a church, before long, someone wants you to do something. In the early days to accomplish any of these goals that placed me in the ‘limelight’, I sought the Lord. I was so scared and nervous; I could only function by totally allowing the Lord to lead. I would spend more than my usual time with the Lord. I would tell Him of my fears, remind Him that this activity wasn’t in my plans, tell Him I didn’t want to do this. Yes, yes, I did most of the talking back then, in fact, I still do most of the talking now. Anyway, every time I had to go to the ‘front’ to do something, although people saw me, it really was never me. I hanged unto the Lord so tightly, He probably still has my claw marks as proof. Oh Lord, how I thank You for Your faithfulness toward me.
But time breeds familiarity, does it not? Time breeds habits: after a while being in the limelight became easier and easier and after a while, I thought I could handle the attention on my own. I didn’t need to totally surrender to the Lord, I will just say the cursory prayer and voila! I will be fine. But God…
The Lord in His goodness has this way of bringing you down a peg or three, especially when you’re also hard-headed like me. Needless to say, I have come to the conclusion that the Lord at the center of it all brings harmony and unity, never chaos.
I am still shocked at my audacity at times! Talk about being godly without God, surely this is impossible! But as mere man, or should I say, as mere woman, it took me a minute to realize that I left out the most important part to this equation. I abandoned what I knew to be true to experiment with a new thing that has never worked before. How like us, to bite the hand that feeds us. Because we serve the Invisible God, after a while, we’ve wrongly convinced ourselves that we were in the driver’s seat all along. But the Lord won’t share His glory with anyone, not even me, the one He loves unconditionally, unfailingly, unwaveringly.
I am still shy, I still dislike the attention, I still prefer to work in the background, but I have learnt that I can soar when I surrender to the God who knows me best. When I walk with Him and talk with Him, I can confidently perform each task, He’s given, though I may be afraid.
People may see this bold, courageous, daring person but if only they knew that before she gets up to speak or teach, she hastens to her Source of strength, she hides and finds solace under His wings. I have learnt my lesson, yesterday’s grace and mercy isn’t sufficient for today. Today calls for its own measure of grace and mercy at the feet of Jesus.
Have you ever been in an embarrassing situation that involves doing something for the Lord?