ME DOES NOT LIKE ME TOO MUCH

Hey friends, how are you today? How was your weekend? My weekends are usually busy because this is the only time available to take my mom on our various escapades.  As a young person, I didn’t think my mom and I had anything in common (hah!) now, the similarities are more obvious.  Oh, those childhood days… I most certainly don’t long for them. George Bernard Shaw in 1935 wrote, ‘…youth is wasted on the young‘.  I remained unconvinced of the veracity of this phrase until I had kids myself.  At times, I try to persuade myself that I missed that self-centered, impulsive, know-it-all stage altogether. But unfortunately, my mom is here to disabuse anyone within hearing of that notion.  

When I was a little girl, I mentally swapped my life for someone else’s, all the time.  I was convinced I would be happier if was more athletic like her, or taller like her, or bolder like her.  I didn’t like being me, because being me was no fun at all.  

Well, I recently realized that I was right all along, but I used the wrong standard. I really don’t want to be me anymore. But the standard isn’t the next person; it’s the Word of God.  Why don’t I want to be me anymore?  Me isn’t a nice person.  Me isn’t kind or compassionate. Me thinks way too much about herself to be concerned about anyone else.  Me rarely does something for anyone if it’s not attached to an ulterior motive. Me thinks, “how does he/she benefit my life?”  Me can be pretty selfish.  Me often doesn’t think before she speaks.  Me can be very critical, especially when things are not done her way. Me always thinks she is right, all the time.  Me hates saying sorry.  Me has the tendency to be somewhat of a perfectionist; she hesitates to do things if she is not absolutely convinced it will be perfect.  Me can be a loner at times, she gets tired of people quickly. Me gets very impatient with others and has been known to be mean sometimes.     Me is sometimes afraid to try new or uncomfortable things.  Me likes sameness: she struggles with change (unless she implements it, of course).  Do you see why now, I don’t want to be me anymore? Me finds it hard to obey God and take Him at His Word.  She becomes anxious when situations are beyond her control. Oh yes, me has control issues.  I don’t want to be me, anymore!

I want to be kind to others. I want to be unselfish and less conceited.  I want to think of others better than my self.  I want to open my mouth with wisdom, and I want the law of kindness to be on my tongue.  I want to be anxious for nothing, but in everything I want to bring my requests before God.  I want to edify others and spur others unto good works.  I want to put on strength and honor as my clothing.  I want to be a woman of integrity and dignity. I want to be known as a woman of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness.  I want to be her now; I want to be that virtuous woman.  

Patience, love, gentleness should always be displayed with the youth because in most cases age precedes wisdom.  As a matter of fact, too many times, I suppose, I act like a youth in my relationship with the Lord.  Too many times, I can almost literally hear Him say, “we’ve been here before” or “I thought we had conqured this issue”, yet still here we are again.  On certain days, I act just like the youth;  self centered, hasty and emotional.  But how thankful I am for the truth found in this verse: 

Today we bask in the grace and mercy of our Lord, as we surrender to Him, as we say, ‘not my will, but Thine be done’. How are you doing?

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24 Thoughts

  1. This is a beautiful post, an enlightened twist on the hackneyed “be yourself” idea. This is “be yourself through God”, in other words your true self, your God-given self, not the self that has been formed by the superficial interactions of society, not the self cultivated by fear and sameness. My self is similar to your self, small, selfish, self-centered. My true self is beautiful, but much of the time hidden. God is the key to unlock that self, You expressed it so beautifully, and your choice of scripture is perfect. Made my day. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am thankful I am no longer the me I once was. I am a new creature for the old has passed away. That’s not to say I’ve reached the goal yet, for I haven’t but God is still perfecting the new me. Have a blessed weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good good good self reflection, boy did I need this..I was just thinking yesterday morning, “I’d probably like myself better if I could take away my sass and all my negative talk” ..and then I realized God may have needed to create me as a mute in ordee for that to happen and He obviously didn’t so the change begins with me (along with Him to guide)…
    I love your paragraph you included on “I want to….” So I screenshot it and I you don’t mind I’ll write it out and place it on my dresser to read daily…I may have to change it to “I NEED to….”
    Great post, very timely!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Yikes, this was too much like looking in the mirror. 😮
    Oh, but the grace of God! How good and kind and loving He is! I love how He works through people to touch and teach people. I love how He works through you.

    Liked by 2 people

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