Becoming HIS Tapestry

Christian Lifestyle Blogger

IT’S NOT ME, THOUGH

Hey friends, how are you today? How was your weekend? The children had the Christmas Play this past Sunday and they did a fabulous job.  Of course, it wasn’t without its usual kids’ quirks; like the 3 and 4 year old ‘soldiers’ who refused to leave the stage after their parts or the 8 year old, who forgot her lines and those who spoke so softly, the mics could not pick up the sound or those who spoke so fast, the audience couldn’t keep up, but in spite of all this and also because of all these, everyone said, it was a job well done.  Believe me, I was very happy that day was over, ‘thank You, Lord; now could You, please Father, find someone else?”  I know I’ve said before, standing before large groups of people frighten me.  Having to speak to a large audience makes me very uncomfortable and let me tell you; every grandparent, aunty, uncle, cousin, friend was in attendance.  Nothing draws a crowd faster than kids in the spotlight.   

Yet, I was also thankful for this opportunity, discomfort always hastens my feet to Jesus.  I find myself, constantly seeking reassurance from Him that all will be fine.  I don’t hasten toward change, unless of course, I have already approved it.  Change always makes me feel discombobulated, which usually heightens the anxiety levels.  In the past, I was the assistant to the play master, this time I was the play master with an assistant. Instinctively, I would have said no to such events, but there was no one else to fill the gap; what choice did I have? 

2020 is quickly approaching and like 2019, change is guaranteed.  Discomfort is inevitable but we can stand on this one promise; Hebrews 13:5

Proverbs 31:26, to my life verses.  (Yes, I have a few). Would you like me to quote it?  What is the purpose of a life verse, if one can’t memorize it? Here, I am typing it from memory: “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her lips is the law of kindness”.

Do you know, the first thing to go, when I am not walking with the Lord?  My relationship with people!  That’s usually the first thing to suffer.  I get impatient with people, I get frustrated with them, I don’t want them too close, I need them to ‘do’ and then ‘go’. I can always tell where I am spiritually, by my relationship with others.  I love my own company; I like activities I can do on my own.  I like to read, I like to run, I enjoy solitude. Speaking in a group of more than five is out of my comfort zone and crowds usually make me uncomfortable.  Yet, do you know, what calling the Lord has gifted me? Yes… you guessed it! He has called me to teach! God has a sense of humor!  

The Lord revealed something to me about Himself, a few years ago.  I know I should have known this already.  But it came as a new thing! Ready for it? THE LORD LOVES PEOPLE! I know right? Shocking! He does not love just me!  And He also said, ‘if I love Him, I will love His people’.  Wow! What a revelation! Does God really expect me to love even those who are really, really, unlovable?  Do you know that those who have not surrendered their lives over to Jesus Christ as their Savior are His people too? Are you telling me, Lord, I can’t be ‘done’ with people? 

You see, the thing is… I have this ‘people expectation’ thing in my mind.  I expect these particular behaviors and attitudes and actions from them and sometimes they fall short! How dare they!  So back to the first paragraph… I prefer solidarity, because people disappoint.  They inflict pain.  Why should I choose people over a ‘good book’? 

I know what you’re thinking now.  You’re thinking, “who does she think, she is”?  Or maybe, you’re thinking, “she thinks she’s better than others”.  And the sad thing is… you would be right!  When I get impatient, frustrated and annoyed at others, it stems from a warped relationship with the Lord.  I’ve laid down my armor, instead of suiting up.  I depended on people to control my actions toward them, instead of trusting the Lord.  

Forgive me Lord, help me to demonstrate your love for me, by loving others and implementing Proverbs 31:26.  Do you get impatient, frustrated and annoyed at others? Why?

Don’t forget about the giveaway on the last blog post.  Here is the link for this giveaway, here.

Let’s continue the conversation over on Instagram. Follow my Instagram and I will follow back, just let me know in the comment section. I would love to meet you 🙂

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18 responses to “IT’S NOT ME, THOUGH”

  2. Oh yes I do and if anyone says otherwise, it wouldn’t be true. The great thing is underneath the frustration and impatience is true love for others as a Christian. I know you and I both would lend a helping hand to anyone in need regardless of their behavior. We would be able to look pass that and do what is right. I’m glad your play was a success. God Bless you and the family.

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  3. I love this article and love your boots. At 5-foot they would probably go to my neck (yes, an exaggeration) but they are great! I also find people are “more difficult” if my interactions are a little too seldom or a little too short!! I HAVE to have His love for people flowing through me or I’m toast. A big square of toast in too-tall boots!!

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  5. Thankful to hear the Christmas play went well! Time with God always makes things run smoother, including relationships. Life is more peaceful and stable when time with Him is a priority. Thanks Brenda! 😊

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  6. Good for you for choosing to obey God even through your discomfort and against your personality! God has a real sense of humor, lol, or actually he just knows what we need even when we’d rather not do it. Believe me, I am right there with you! Let me read, run, and sit in the back ! But God has been drawing me out more and more. I think we ‘mature’ women are desperately needed in God’s work, now and always. Hopefully, you and I can learn to relax and let God use us. Happy Tuesday, Brenda! Oh, and I’m sure the parents were thrilled with your job as director, because they are just looking at their babies anyway. I went to see a Christmas musical production at church on Sunday that had some flaws, but I was so blessed by the children! ❤

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  7. Yeah, me too. I think it all goes back to wanting control, wanting to be God. If I’m by myself, I can control input and output. I can feel any way I want to, and I don’t bother others and they don’t bother me.
    But God has different plans! He is a God of relationships. It’s where most of our struggling and tribulation come from, and it’s how God uses our sin nature to refine us.

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  8. I really, really detest speaking in front of people! Yay for it going well and being over 🙂 People make me want to become a hermit. I would be so very happy if my family and I could just live in isolation far removed from the world. However, God keeps reminding me as well that I can’t just do that. He has a purpose for us all and in order to live out that purpose we have to (usually) be in contact with people. I have been constantly praying for a better attitude lately. It’s been a year long thing, lol. But, I think I have made small strides and I am constantly asking for more help every time I have to deal with someone who I know is difficult. Thank goodness for the graciousness of God! 🙂 God Bless!

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    • Can I tell you that this statement made my day ..”People make me want to become a hermit.” More often lately, I find myself seeking my own company, a good book is my happy place. Deliberately choosing to love the deliberately unlovable is hard work!

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