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STEPS TO LOVING THE UNLOVEABLE

Hey friends, how are you today? Really… how are you? How is your summer? What’s your favorite thing about summer? One of my favorites is actually the people. Most people seem kinder and little friendlier. It’s easier to talk to strangers as we walk along the paths or run on the tracks. People seem to care a tad bit more. Although the opposite is also true about people.  The crime rate rises in the summer, there are more careless accidents. But generally speaking, summer seems to bring out a more relaxed atmosphere among people. They become a minute; a very tiny bit easier to love.  Sometimes, I ask myself, ‘who am I?’ When I was younger, I must admit, I was a bit self~centered, just a tad bit, mind you. It’s easy to be kind and loving to kind and loving people.  It’s easy to be generous with generous people.  Ahhhh…but some people are just plain, old mean, aren’t they? Not even summertime can help.  

One of the hardest things for me to do is love perpetually, deliberately difficult people!  Do you know someone like that?  A person who seemingly seeks ways to antagonize, to frustrate.  (Even, at times, those who claim to know Christ?) We are reminded in Ephesians 6:10 that our battle isn’t against flesh and blood; it isn’t against people; but out there is someone insisting on helping us forget that! Here are some principles to live by; some steps to help us, in that area, for the balance of 2019.  

Step 1: God loves people, that includes me and yes, even those people… (John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.)

Step 2: People (that includes me, and yes, even those people…) are created in the image of God, Himself (Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.)

Step 3: Christ died for people (yep, me too and yes, even those people…) Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Step 4: God commands me to love them, yep; even those people…; (John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.)

Step 5: Maybe, now is a good time to really look at me, am I any better? Ummm (Matthew 7:3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?)

Step 6: People are not perfect, and guess what? Neither am I! Lower the expectations; people are and were created for God’s pleasure, not mine; and yes, even those people… (Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Step 7: Invest in the time to know people, yes, even those people…before giving a title to the friendship, I want to cultivate.  It is for my good, as well as theirs. Every relationship does not have to end in a close friendship… (Proverbs12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.)

Step 8: Relationships are not always two-sided; Friendships are not created fair and equal, sometimes I have to give more than I will ever receive (wow, what a novel idea)..(John 1:11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him.)

Step 9: At some point in someone’s life (maybe more than one time) something or someone will shake their foundation, their trust, their faith.  I must be faithful, I must be steady, yes, even with those people… (1 Thessalonians 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.)

Step 10: Some people are only meant to be in my life for a “season”, do not try to hold on to them.  (Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.)

Some people make it hard for us to love them. We must remember that we were once enemies of God, that we are not always faithful to Him, yet even in our state, He loved us!  Oh, how He loves me!  Perhaps, a good verse for me to remember is found in Luke 6:32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them!

Buckle up; saints of God, someone needs you to love them! 

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47 responses to “STEPS TO LOVING THE UNLOVEABLE”

  5. Thanks for sharing these steps and verses. Love must be the motive behind our actions, even when it comes to “those people” lol. I’m working on it with the Holy Spirit’s help. ✝️

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  7. Amen! This is some great advice as always, Brenda! We know quite a few people who are difficult to love. I am working on my attitude and it makes a whole world of difference. 🙂 Imagine that, lol 😉 Thank goodness for God’s patience and love because I know there have been times when I have been difficult. God Bless!

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  10. I have judged people in the past. Then years later see myself doing the exact same things. God has shown me time and again that people have reasons and we never know. We might be the same if we are in their place. Great point and reminder to see God in each person and circumstance.

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  11. I’ll likely run into some people today that aren’t easy to love when I deliver meals. But the strangest thing is: when I consciously try to love them anyway, it may or may not change them, but it changes me. Thanks for this reminder today to be intentional about loving the unlovely.

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  16. This: ” It is for my good, as well as theirs.” When God tells us to love others, it’s not so we can shower our grace upon them or take them up as a project. No, God means blessings both ways, all around!
    And this: “Buckle up; saints of God, someone needs you to love them!” LOVE that!!! 😁

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  17. Thank you my dear sister for sharing.

    Your post is just filled with teaching and truth and I love it. You are doing a great job. What you shared has brought joy to my heart and encouragement that soothes my soul. God bless you dear!!!

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  19. It is extremely hard to love some people. I find that the only way I can, at times, is to fall more in love with Jesus and spend more time in his presence. I’ve come to realize that when I come across difficult people, after being in God’s presence, its as if I don’t notice their attack on me. Instead I see them in the eyes of Christ, sometimes they are broken and in need of him. Its weird like that. Thank you so much for sharing, and with scripture. God bless.

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    • amen and amen 🙂 Yesss… falling in love with Jesus is the key to loving others. It is impossible to love the Lord and be at war with others. Because of Him and in spite of us, we are loved and we can show love to others

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  20. Sometimes they are difficult for a reason. There is usually something behind it all. Maybe they have suffered. I have had times the Lord let me know to pray for someone and he gives me an opportunity to share his love.

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  21. There is no way on God’s earth that I can (with my own strength and power) love someone as myself. I might say I do and even fake it, but deep down, I don’t have the power to do so. And you know what? Neither can you. It is only when I daily come before the throne of grace and empty myself of my own ambitions, desire, wants, greed and then say to my precious heavenly Father, “Here is an empty vessel. Fill it with your presence, power, and strength.” It is only then am I able to bear the fruit of the Spirit and truly love someone even if I know that the person habitually criticises me, despises me, or has insulted me. It does not make any difference because I no longer love that person, but the Lord Jesus is loving the person through me by making me a channel of his love.

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    • amen and amen 🙂 God is Love, its not possible to know or extend love to others without first experiencing the love of God for ourselves. Then it takes to surrender to the Lord to love others as He loves us. Thank you for this comment; it is on point

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  23. Thank you for sharing, it is easier to love those who love us and are kind to us. I was telling myself yesterday that it’s so easy to live my son when he listens to me and does what I ask him, and how frustrated I feel when he does his own way. I’m Still learning I guess 😉

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  25. In the words of Bishop Noel Jones:

    “Some folk just put you through hell. Folk that you wish you could get away from, folk that you’re obligated to be around, folk that you wish would disappear. … Some folk put you through hell.

    You pray for them, and they put you through hell.

    You loan ‘em your money, and they put you through hell.

    You bail ‘em out, they go right back in the same junk you bailed ‘em out of, and they put you through hell.

    You know why you go through hell? Because you care. … If you could ever get yourself to the place where you didn’t care …

    They know you care and because they know you care, they keep on playing with you and keep on doing stuff to you, and because they know you love ‘em and they know you’d do anything for them, and after you do anything for them, they want you to do anything for them again, and you do it again, and they want you to do anything for them again, and whenever you stop, they make you feel guilty like you ain’t never done anything in the first place. You put.me.through.hell!”

    That will wind up in the memoir someday, but this seemed like a good place to share it, too. 😉

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